Fat
Awareness on my own physical form started when I was 16. This was when I realized I have breasts. They've always been there since year 7 but they were not entirely incorporated in my head as something more than just my normal body part. When I was sixteen I discovered that they were, actually, something more. :D
Shortly after highschool I gained substantial weight. The type that is hard to put off since they stubbornly clung on my thighs and hips and added volume and roundness all over. It's already difficult being somewhat slightly taller and larger than the rest, gaining weight added more than just kilograms in the weighing scale. I was fat.
Contrary to what I believe, I actually cared about what people had to say about me. Especially the part where these people found an old photo of me in highschool and exclaimed "Wow, you were skinny." I was slim, thank you, and healthy. I was still healthy in comparison to the photo, only not as slim. And then I thought "oh man, perhaps I am in denial".
So there I was, living my life with a nagging small voice at the back of my head. Fat. Fat. Fat. Along with all the worst conotations anyone can think of attached to the word. I did not even stop to realize that I was healthy.
I still struggle with this until today. Maybe I still would for the rest of my life. Hopefully it will be a generally healthy life despite of. :)
Shortly after highschool I gained substantial weight. The type that is hard to put off since they stubbornly clung on my thighs and hips and added volume and roundness all over. It's already difficult being somewhat slightly taller and larger than the rest, gaining weight added more than just kilograms in the weighing scale. I was fat.
Contrary to what I believe, I actually cared about what people had to say about me. Especially the part where these people found an old photo of me in highschool and exclaimed "Wow, you were skinny." I was slim, thank you, and healthy. I was still healthy in comparison to the photo, only not as slim. And then I thought "oh man, perhaps I am in denial".
So there I was, living my life with a nagging small voice at the back of my head. Fat. Fat. Fat. Along with all the worst conotations anyone can think of attached to the word. I did not even stop to realize that I was healthy.
I still struggle with this until today. Maybe I still would for the rest of my life. Hopefully it will be a generally healthy life despite of. :)
Comments
Terkadang ingin bilang "Sudahlah, yang penting sehat". Tapi, akhirnya kembali lagi memikirkan keinginan untuk menurunkan berat badan, apalagi kalau memandang bayangan dalam cermin, atau waktu naik ke atas timbangan.
Mungkin, seharusnya aku bilang, "Hancurkan saja timbangannya! Pecahkan saja cerminnya!" *absurd*
Haha!! Well, I keep struggling with this issue too till now. You're not alone.
Nia Janiar
Keluargaku punya sejarah diabetes dan stroke, yang artinya oh marilah saya menjaga apa yang saya makan dan membiasakan berolahraga serta pola hidup sehat lainnya :)
Yang paling susah adalah langkah pertama untuk memulai semua kegiatan pola hidup sehat ini. Hohoho. Tetapi sesudah berhasil memulai, mempertahankannya tidak terlalu sulit, sebetulnya.
Efek samping dari perubahan pola makan yang kemarin itu (alias diet) selain berat badan yang turun sehingga baju-baju muat lagi, adalah peningkatan energi, pulang dari kerja kantoran tidak lagi langsung tersungkur di kasur tapi masih bisa melakukan hal-hal lain dulu sebelum tidur. Mood dan emosi juga lebih stabil, hihihi.