About Me

So, basically this blog was started by envy. Kulam Ikan Tetangga (the neighbor's fish pond) is a variation to the saying that goes "the neighbor's Grass is always greener". The Neighbor's Fish Pond will always have fatter and more fish (than your own fishpond). And so it is.

Frodo Don't Wear the Ring!

It's something from the Flight of the Conchords. They're quite popular recently, and they're from New Zealand.


New Zealand....

Yea, I heard it's pretty amazing, the country. With one island populated by sheep, and the other less bigger one populated by human.

oh, actually I want to share something so ironic it's funny in a bleak dark way.

Back in 2002-2003 I was active in this forum discussing life style and the general crap of life. Yeah. I was still under the illusion that I was hip and cool. Anyways, a lady decided to post a thread, looking for either support or justification of her miserable life story, I wasn't sure, even until today.

So this lady, was an Indonesian. She was married to a New Zealander, and was brought back to her husband's country briefly after they were wed. When she posted the thread, they were already married for two years and she's very sad. The house we live in is out in the middle of nowhere, she said. The weather sucks it gets very cold, she said. There's nothing to be done here, she said. For shopping allowances, etc, I have to ask money from my husband, she said. I have no friends, she said. Life is shit, she said.

The hip and cool me of 2002 found this thread to be potentially crappy, useless for the rest of the forum, and lame. Sympathy was not what I had in mind, honestly. Research! Research! Research! Lady! was what I wanted to shout out. But instead ... I can't remember, but I was being much more cynical in replying this thread. I think I might've bashed the hell out of this unfortunate poor lady.

Recently I had the chance to interact with a group of female bule hunters. They are young, 20-25 years old, usually travel in groups of minimum 2 hunters, easily found in waterholes where foreign tourists / visitors replenish after a day of tourism adventure under the sun these bule hunters dressed up almost alike, drinking alcohol like it's a mere cool water from the fridge, most smoke cigarette, long hair as this is very feminine and a good weapon of sultry flirts, apparently open-minded as they frequent nightclub and think taboos are unreasonable plain bullshits, and hmm...what else? They are also, from various informations I gathered, can be very territorial. Once a target is marked, other (both bule hunter or unsuspicious casual greeter) may not or should not approach target, otherwise it could be very messy.

Why is this particular species be called bule hunter? Well, it's because of the preference to exclusively socialize both casually or intense relationship-y with bule (caucasian), foreigner tourist or visitor. This preference could have several different motivations or backgrounds from the plain business-economics to the plain sexual business.

There's nothing wrong with this, being a bule hunter I mean. It's about as legal as I am a lame-basher. It's like in a savanna where lions and elephants and giraffes and hippopotamus and other savanna dwellers can live side by side quite peacefully, so do bule hunters and lame-bashers too can live side by side. Not mingling, of course. Heaven forbids. It will contain graphic images and violence. Just like in the Discovery channel.

It is now 2010, so I am more trained and matured as a cynic, especially compared to the younger and delusional me of 2002. I was more than ready to whip out my celestial lash of common sense, but unfortunately, of course, the chance never appeared. Bule hunters would not confess to people outside their group that they, in fact, are bule hunters on a mission. tch!

Celestial Lash of Common Sense:

  • Yes, caucasians are better equipped. But if equipment is your main concern, africans will be the most suitable option. 
  • As for political advantages, up to this point, British and Commonwealth countries still have the most advantages. Using said countries passport, you can get to almost all interesting places with almost no hassle from the immigration office. Neat, eh?
  • As with economical advantages, men with higher than standard income does not travel like a homeless hobo. Should these higher-income men happened to travel Indonesia, they would stay in lavish places and visit exclusive places, not some cheap budget hostel filled with kids from college in their spring break. Bigger fish will require bigger pole and better chum to catch. If necessary, search for the data of the said country gross per capita income, so you can screen out the small fish. 
  • By coincidence, Poundsterling, which is the currency of Britain, fare better than American Dollar, and even from Euro. 
  • Do consider what genetical traits you want your children to have. No... wait... as long as the child is half bule you can sell her to Sinetron producer as soon as the kid popped out of your womb.
  • If true love struck you faster than you can think "annual income", learn about this foreign country you're about to relocate to after your wedding. Only in Third World countries you are able to hire helpers to clean your house, cook you food, feed and taking care of your children. As far as I know, common people in Europe does everything from laundry to child caring independently without the help of pembantu. E V E R Y T H I N G.
  • Men who are older than you by at least 20 years usually will not require you to work to earn extra allowance to sustain the new family life. 
  • Do you know that most bule women prefer Indonesian men because they think Indonesian men are more romantic than the bule men? Yeah, I know. Talk about WEIRD.

I actually can think of several other things but, this is enough to illustrate the wicked Celestial Lash of Common Sense.

Back to that lady who married a kiwi and regretted it. Tough luck. She probably imagined something like Beverly Hills 90210 or some other Hollywood romance film with big cities as settings and background. She probably imagined living a very cool life, talking English all the time, pembantu taking care of the kids and the laundry so she can hang out with bule people. How painful it is to must have faced the reality: sometimes people gets homesick, and talking English all the time is tiring if it's not your mother tongue. The food is different and pembantu is too expensive. And then winter comes when it can get too dangerous to drive outside, and everything sometimes frozen you have to keep food inside the fridge just to keep it warm. And washing dishes can be hell if the water heater broke during winter. She probably thought it's like Jakarta where shops and malls are still open at 9 pm, and then her shopping spirit must've deflated to discover the nearest mall is 70 km away and it's only as big as Pasar Tebet and that it's closed by 5 pm.

I don't know if this lady is still married to the Kiwi guy or not. Or if she discovered a new way and or gained a new point of view in living her so called shitty life.

I personally won't mind living in NZ, providing I have a job that I love with decent earnings. Electricity, working heater, internet connection and satellite dish. Opening my front door to face the middle-of-nowhereness, greeted by baaa of the local population, walk my dog while singing, quite shivering with cold, "The hiiiilllsss are aliiiiiivvve..... with the souuuunds of muuuuusiiiiic...."

No, wait... that's Austria.


Okiii said...

nz also got the lowest corruption rate, according to icw. sheeps got high moral standards.

M. Lim said...

they also make good barbecue.

sheep I mean.

although the corruptors...