About Me

So, basically this blog was started by envy. Kulam Ikan Tetangga (the neighbor's fish pond) is a variation to the saying that goes "the neighbor's Grass is always greener". The Neighbor's Fish Pond will always have fatter and more fish (than your own fishpond). And so it is.

I Miss Chris Again

“Can you be less sensitive?”
“I can’t”
“How about trying this dose of chocolat and see if it works.”
“Works what?”
“Calming you down.”

Found myself lamenting this past life. Sitting by the window, as I was watching the grey world outside, and the sudden pang in my heart.

“Like a brick in my stomach.”

Sometimes I catch a glimpse of memory. The sensation when he bent down and kissed my cheek. I instantly would feel warm and fuzzy inside. And then, it hit me like a brick in my stomach. Like he used to say. It didn’t make much sense back then. But here I am, not making any sense, after three whole years. Has it been that long? It felt even longer.

Nowadays, sometimes, I could see him sitting next to me, staring at me like he used to do. Smiling. Looking forlorn. I know he must’ve had found someone else. We both are moving on. And I know he knows this too. I know that sometimes, he too could see me next to him, staring at him. Looking forlorn. And I know that we both know, we’d close our eyes and quietly whisper, “Yes, I miss you too. I love you so much.” And there’s no past tense for those sentences. Never.


Inem kejepit said...

I remembered my good friend was saying, "Once you hammered a nail unto a suface, it would leave a forever hole that's not meandable."

I must say, Don't bother trying to mend it.

Regardless, I still misses him too.
Tears still shed everytime his face swims across my memory.

koeaing! said...

What a high words...