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VERTIGO
Contrary to popular believe, I don't talk to Her Highness Queen of my universe. In this case I always screen out things I wanted to say to her. The result is I'm not really as open as I want to with her.
The thing is, nobody in my family communicate with eachother. Not in the normal ways, as in the ways that most regular people in any regular families in Indonesia do.

Why I've forgotten about this, I can't say. But being back in an approximate parameter within these individuals that's my DNA pool, frustrated me in a mere couple of days.

Am I blaming them for making me who I am today?

Partially yes, I won't lie about that. As an excuse to counterpart the negative sense I made of it, they also brought out some of the positive sides in me.

Am I self-made? I will proudly say that atleast 50% of me is self-made. No man is an island. To be more redundant; Am a woman.

While am drowning in the ocean of indefinite terror that is the future, a very small voice whispered in the background, "Look down the earth, sweetie... Don't always looking up at the heaven"

Such a healthy conscience.

If only am not standing upside down a plank of wood with sharks swimming underneath.

"Hey Bert, which way is down?"

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